Ernest Goes Online

Been very absent from this blog recently. There's no great reason for it other than I have a new house with a girlfriend inside and plenty of work to be getting on with. Simple pleasures.

I do plan to come back here very soon indeed, I just need to learn to manouever my time better and be of a clearer head. Until then I'd like to share with you this collection of 'Ernest' DVD covers that officially constitutes the most pointless thing I have ever downloaded.

God bless the internet, and no place else.

There is No Smoking Whilst Reading This Blog

Smoking ban. Fair enough. I have no problem with that.

No smoking signs in places that were formally smoking places. I have no problem with that.

No smoking signs in places where people wouldn't consider smoking anyway. Slight overkill.



I mean, what gleefully gloating asshole goes around putting up signs in greengrocers and doctors surgerys informing the world that they can't smoke in there? No shit, Sherlock. Smokers may be stubborn creatures but they understand the do's and don'ts of their habit... everyone knows you don't smoke in a creche, but the cackling moral majority have still felt obliged to put warning signs up in every potential place; common sense be damned!

I imagine armies of concerned (read: bored) mothers doing the happy dance through town, liberally slapping up signs on every building and flicking V's at anybody who looks like they might have once smoked. "Can't smoke here, or here, or here, or here... ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaa!"

Like I say, I have no problem with the smoking ban - I think it's a good idea - but any impression that it is an understanding reached between the smoking and no smoking factions of modern society has been ruined by the fascistic enforcement of the ban. And this being England, the only way we know how to fascisticly enforce rules is by stickers. Lots and lots of stickers.

These people take the fun out of everything.

Photos

There's 3 new photosets on my photoblog Day of the Dave. Glastonbury, Hull and the sheltered view of the Sheffield rains.

Still haven't got an internet connection at home, but it's coming. BBQ at mine this Sat? Excellent.

Animal

I'm writing this from backstage at a Red Hot Chilli Peppers gig in Holland. And how was your day? A girl just walked the van in the most see-through top I've ever seen on someone in public. The air is thick with the smell of a well oiled machine, and weed. Behind me a white rapper is berating the crowd for playing football and not basketball. I think they're throwing sandwiches at him.

Earlier someone from the crowd stopped me and asked why I was wearing sunglasses when it was raining. I showed him my eyes. "I understand" he said and patted me on the back.

So I've been busy, quit bugging me. It's been a hectic few months... moved house again, making the big step into cohabitation with Isobel. It's bigger and better than I ever imagined it could be. To think I was worried and stressed about the decision, how foolish I was. All the time I was driving to Holland I was thinking why am I driving away from her?

I am now worried that I'm getting soppy. I'm also worried that my previous statements about the nature of relationships will come back to haunt me. I was wrong. There. I said it. Happy now?

So what's a great thing you can do whilst in the middle of moving house - an activity behind only divorce in the list of most stressful things to undertake. How about go on tour? I've done two tours since 65 last month - one with Brett Dennen and this current jaunt with Dirty Pretty Things - and I'm beginning to tire of it. It's a good way to earn some extra money, but damn does it take alot out of you... I mean, it's much more fun when you're an artists, but as a driver you just feel tired and put upon much of the time. Which is a shame as that's your job.

Yesterday we were mud soaked in Glastonbury. Since I was driving overnight to Holland I tried to get some shut-eye in the back of the van, which was attentively parked directly behind the Pyramid Stage. Did you watch Lily Allen? I was asleep pretty much right behind her... and when I woke the clothes horse herself was stood right by my window. I stuck my tongue out and although the glass was tainted, I thought she saw me.

I'm too old for this shit. I mean, I still love touring, and festivals and gigs, but I need to have hospitality now, and nice toilets, and a good bed at the end. I don't mind camping, but it needs to be a quiet field. I can't be doing with mud and shouting and no sleep anymore. Let this be a lesson, it happens to us all.

It's my birthday in September. I keep saying "I feel so thirty." Maybe that's got something to do with it.

Holy shit. 65daysofstatic are supporting the Cure in America. They're playing the Hollywood Bowl, and Madison Square Gardens. Fucking Madison Square Gardens. It's become very easy to be blase about their success now, as most things that are happening now are a natural progression and expected for a band in their position. But the fucking Cure? In the Hollywood Bowl? I don't think I could be more proud of them.

"Whose cock do I have to suck to get on that tour?"

Joe called me on Thursday and he told me about it. "It's a secret" he said "until it appears on the Cure website I won't believe it." So much for sneaky insider information, the next day I had several phone calls and texts telling me about it. And here was something I thought I could smugly mention in a few months time when it came out - "Oh that? Yeah, I've known about that for ages..."

This is a list of things I've learnt recently.
- There are no seasons anymore. Just weather.
- Americans actually have a highly developed understanding of sarcasm.
- British roads are staggering overcrowded.
- Saxondale is a dead on take of most roadies.
- Gary from Dirty Pretty Things is a lovely guy.
- Receiving a laminate that says 'Red Hot Chilli Peppers World Tour 2007 - Dave' can make a guy pretty happy.

Life's actually pretty good at the moment. I'm finally earning a liveable wage off Medlo, I have an awesome new house that I share with my best girl, work is plentiful and the result of our own efforts and I have a sideline that takes me to all manner of strange places across the world.

Told you I was feeling thirty.

Last week I had a great joke idea for a TV show - I wrote it down and sent it to two people, thinking they'd find it hilarious. No replies came for a few days, and then suddenly both got back to me. "Love it", they said, "we should do it." Hey. That's the Medlo way.

I've just finished reading Joe Eszterhas' autobiography 'Hollywood Animal.' It's amazing. This is my favourite line: "(there were times) when we didn't want our boys trick or treating at Kenny G's or Gary Busey's house."

Loved it.

Think I'm going to go and get another one of those salmon kebabs that they have in the hospitality tent. It's a hard life. See you back in the real one.

Liverpool Lord Nelson Hotel

Whilst on the 65dos tour Dave Wolinksi and I took to making short tourlogs that documented the day, we aimed to make one for each show and I think we achieved 14 in the end - which is pretty impressive. We set up a YouTube Director Channel and uploaded them whenever we could find an internet connection, and we've had about 4000 or so views so far. I left the tour last week, but Dave carried on with them into Europe and is still making videos as fast as he can.

You can see the 65crew movies here.

A few days ago he uploaded this brief tour of one of the venues they played at, so I have replied in kind with my own.



Classy.

The Distant and Mechanised Glow of a Van on Fire

There we are... happily tootling along the M6 and suddenly there's this burning smell and the van speedily fills up with an acidic white smoke. We pull over and choke for 5 minutes. The power adaptors are burnt, and the wires are melted.

That'll teach the merch guy to rewire the Playstation.

It's exciting on the road.

Hello...? Is anybody still there?

So. Been a bit absent for the last month or so. Yessiree, a little absent. Leaving your blog unwritten is sort of like correcting an untruth, the more time passes the more you are happy to let it be and not make the changes neccessary... In fact, I have to admit, that I'm personally putting myself under duress to sit here and write, lest I never return again. It's not like I've grown tired of blogging - far from it - I've just grown a little tired of writing about my own misadventures. I've been doing some reviews for Watch With Mothers which I've really enjoyed doing much more.

But anyway, I've also been a bit busy and distracted which is another reason why there has been no updates around here. I toddled off on tour with 65daysofstatic at the start of the month, came home for a few days and now I'm back out on the road driving for Brett Dennen, the support act for Rodriguo y Gabriella. The 65dos tour was great, although not as action packed and exciting as perhaps I was hoping for - the boys have been on the road for a very long time, and will be for a very long time more, and some of the novelty has now passed on. It was still good to be out there though, doing visuals every night and feeling vaguely like an artist for the first time in a long time. We went over to Ireland at the start of the tour which was really nice - I sure like that country and we met some lovely people, and I think I may have left a little bit of my heart in Galway which was, like, just gorgeous.

I've just realised that the days touring schedule states that the Finnish are arriving at 10.20. That is meant to mean we finish at 10.20... but I think I prefer the idea of nordic vistors. Oh, and Daily Motion have featured 65daysofstatic Don't Go Down to Sorrow on their front page so go over and have a look...

Scraps from a Wasted Mind

Two things.

A couple of days ago I received an email from my Dad, the majority of the text read like this:

"I am getting increasing hassle about my forthcoming birthday which is beginning to p*** me off somewhat.

The two most frequent questions are:
What are you doing?
What do you want?

The asnwer to both is a resounding and very serious NOTHING

I have no interest in celebrating this birthday - it's just another day and I'm not being persuaded to do anything special - it's nothing momentous and with a bit of luck I won't even be in the country.

So, rant over, PLEASE do not do anything or get me anything - other than a luxury yacht and a mediterranean villa I don't want or need anything and I'm not celebrating."

I hope this goes someway in explaining to the people I know why I am the way I am. Parents, they fuck you up for life.

Secondly, this was my to-do list this morning:

"Cancel house viewing
Do proper ceiling bracket test and find big hook from scaffolding place
write letter to tax people
email and guest list?
tims survey thing
finish european dance parties
speak to warp about atp
arrange aston shoot
email Dad
chase up undegroove invoice
Pay rent
BUy box for bracket
buy bag for camera
Call Baart
Make intro rumble
collect Litte Victories
money from hux
Go on Tour"

I hope this goes someway to explaining to the people I know why I've been the way I have recently. Nothing personal, just busy.

Off on a 3-week UK tour with 65dos in about 5 hours. I'll hopefully write more from the road.
Peace.
Dave